Solace
by Alis Volat Propris
Summary: One shot in honor of World Suicide Prevention Day. Saitou and Misao both learn to live with the regrets they've had in life, but nothing can take away the pain of being left behind. The only comfort they can find is in the solace of each other.


AN: In light of World Suicide Prevention Day I have wrote a short ficlet of sorts. Over one Million people die from suicide each year. Multiply that by all the people left behind from those loved ones and that's a lot of hurting people world wide. Love people and treasure life!

Saitou awoke with her in his arms. He could smell the peach perfume she always wore, and the smell of jasmine in her hair, which was unbound from it's usual braided length. The feel of her lithe body pressed to his was always a welcome burden. Her chest rose and fell evenly. He was always surprised at how warm she was, not only her personality, but also her physical presence. Currently she was keeping him warm. Saitou took in her general splendor, amber eyes enjoying the view. She always looked so cute when she was asleep all curled up against him. It was a nice change for when she awoke, her spitfire temper and that luscious little mouth of her would spit words of fire.

He supposed it was a good thing. If she were a simpering woman he might get bored. Her fist was close to her mouth, the ring upon her finger bright gold in contrast, her other hand draped across his chest, almost attached to the sleeping yukata he wore. He couldn't help but smirk at the precious bundle against him; she was his and his alone. That accomplishment in and of itself was no small feat. Yellow eyes took in the sight of her again, pleased with the view. Her sleeping yukata left an expanse of her smooth creamy skin exposed, and she shivered, black eyelashes fluttering against her pale rosy cheeks. He pulled the covers over the expanse of her skin with a small smile. The snow fell freely outside their house in Kyoto, chilling the air around them and he sighed. Today wasn't exactly a day he could forget, no matter how much he wished he could and how much his petite wife wanted to help him do so. Maneuvering out of her touch with a wince, he pulled on a robe and took his matches and pack of cigarettes outside.

The outside of their house couldn't have been more opposite. White powder covered the house, and the ground around them. The trees sparkled from the ice frozen upon them. The sun was just barely out above the clouds, the foggy air seeming to make the area all the moreethereal. Lighting a match, he lit up his cigarette as he listened to the songs of the birds chiming and piping around him. He inhaled deeply, the nicotine calming the ache, he always felt on this day. It was so white and clean out, no foot prints marking the snow falling, or the snow that lay across the land. There was no blood staining it, or screams of men dying. And once again Saitou found himself pulled into the past. It had been snowing that day. Yellow eyes glazed over, snuffing out to liquid amber, as Saitou smoked, lost in his thoughts.

Misao's fingers deftly reached out to the warm body she knew would be lying next to her, eyes closed, silly smile plastered to her face as she was half awake. Her hands met empty air, and this had the petite ninja awake, and sitting up as she looked around for her departed husband. The bed was still warm. Her recently departed husband was no where within eyesight in the bedroom but Misao was still waking up and maybe she'd overlooked something. Her husband was rather devious and deceptive at times, testing her ninja skill and making her want to beat him from frustration at times. Deep down she loved every minute, even the pain, but fortunately for her she'd never have to admit that.

She rubbed her eyes to free them from their sleepy haze, and deftly grabbed the robe nearest her wrapping her self up in it as she shivered. She grabbed her kunai and placed them appropriately. One could never be too careful or too cautious and if there was trouble which was highly unlikely, it wouldn't be alive long enough to cause further rebuttle. It was snowing outside she noticed as the xchill air hit her and she wrapped herself further into the robe, making sure that she still had access to her kunai and could move enough just in case. Incidents in the past had made her cautious, had matured her to realize that even if home was a sanctuary that didn't always make it safe, or her invincible. She briefly remembered the days of her youth. She'd always had someone there to protect her, giving her that safe feeling. No longer, she told herself. She wouldn't have anyone protect her because of her lack of weakness. No, she allowed Saitou to protect her because he continued to develop her, honing her strengths and weaknesses.

She made her way to the shouji door, bare feet padding down the tatami mats with the familiar thud. Her feet were cold, but there were worse fates and it something was wrong she'd rather be barefooted than trip with her slippers. Not that there wuld be trouble she prayed silently hoping that her prayers would be reality once again. They had been so fortunate and lucky, but Misao wasn't about to press her luck. She'd grown up with a vengeance and learned life's lessons well enough to be cautious. She could see her breath as she opened the shouji door eyes alert for danger. The familiar sliding of the wood gave her comfort and courage as she made her way out the door.

Ocean green eyes scouted, and found said departed husband smoking in his chair, ash falling off his cigarette as he was totally absorbed into his thoughts. It was very rare for the Wolf of Mibu to be distracted, much more so for him to be so distracted that he ignored his cigarette. Misao knew already that there was no trouble afoot and took her hand off her kunai with a calmly exhaled breathe. Before her, her husband sat and she smiled, as he still hadn't taken into account she was awake.

Saitou Hajime was certainly an interesting man once she had gotten beneath his skin. _In more ways than one_ she nearly giggled, but that would pull him out of his thoughts and she didn't want that just yet. If anyone had told her that she would be married to the Wolf of Mibu, the Makimachi Misao of old would've laughed in their faces, denying it while still spouting the love of Aoshi. Shinomori Aoshi…the thought left a bitter taste in her mouth and heart. Aoshi was gone. The weight of his guilt had been too much to bear and thus she'd found him, impaled on his kodachi from his own bloodstained hands. She closed her eyes against the image that preyed upon her time and time again, wishing the dull ache there would stop it's senseless throbbing. His note to her had simply said I'm sorry. It was the worst betrayal he could have ever committed against her and had been an emotionally crippling blow.

Saitou was lost in the past, the screams of fallen comrades keeping him company, the remembrance of friend and foe alike's blood splattering, as he sat the snow falling around him. Warm hands wrapped around him and he was pulled from his stupor, flinching a bit. Saitou scoffed at himself. He was getting soft in his age, or perhaps it was just her soothing presence, that was never a burden but a welcome rest for his weary soul. She buried her head on his shoulder, kissing his neck and Saitou found himself reveling in her physical touch as well as her spiritual one. He leaned into the touch, allowing her access to his neck, his trademark smirk gracing his features.

"Good morning" She whispered, voice husky.

"Good morning indeed" He replied, yellow eyes fixing their stare upon her as he once again marveled at the splendor of his wife.

Her hair fell around her in cascading waves of black her robe clinging to her in all the right places, her body still lithe but grown with womanly curves. Her creamy skin glowed, pale rosy cheeks standing out in comparison. Those green blue eyes eyed him knowing his look well and where it usually got them. His smirk spread as he took into account those small bare feet, nearly purple in their color.

"Someday your feet are going to go numb you know" He told her.

"And someday your cynicism will catch up to you" She chided, sticking that pink tongue out at him.

"Don't tempt me" He said, bringing her into his arms, and onto his lap. She let out a contented sigh, shifting against him provokingly, provocatively, as she nestled herself comfortably against him. Letting out a small sigh, he wrapped his arms around her bringing her close to him, covering her feet with some of his robe so she wouldn't freeze, rubbing the life back into them. She kissed his cheek, arms wrapping around his neck as she looked deep into those feral amber eyes.

"What?" He asked her, looking away as he took another drag of his cigarette.

"You know what" She said pouting, coral lips pulling his heartstrings effectively.

Saitou sighed.

"It's alright" He told her arms wrapping around her tighter instinctively.

"Liar" She said, green eyes glaring defiantly at him and the turning to look at the shouji door in her stubbornness.

"What do you want me to say Misao?" Saitou asked her, yellow eyes gleaming.

"I want you to tell me the truth" She said simply. "I want you to trust me" She replied, hurt.

"I do trust you." Saitou replied, frowning.

"Not with the truth" She replied stubbornly.

"Not true…" Saitou began.

"Not about her" Misao whispered quietly eyes brimming with unshed tears and she hugged him tight.

Saitou kissed the top of her head. "Hey now…"

"Anata.." she murmured as she hugged him tight.

"I just remember how it happened is all" He said quietly. Misao looked up, a soft smile as she listened.

"I found her in the snow, and the note and the blood…" Saitou shook his head. Misao hugged him tight, kissing his forehead.

"I found Aoshi in the temple" She murmured, cuddling close to him for warmth and comfort.

Saitou merely nodded, throat too thick to say anymore.

"You're not alone anymore, Saitou." She murmured, eyes bright with tears, but also with hope as she smiled.

"I know that." He replied, brushing her tears away with his thumb.

"I'm serious. I mean it. And you'd better not forget it! No longer do you have to bear that guilt and pain alone. It wasn't your fault." She told him, eyeing him.

"I know all of this" He said rolling his eyes as he smiled at her.

"Anata….Let me take it for you…if only for a little while." She murmured, kissing him.

"You can't take it…I doubt there's anything that could ever take this away…but I'll share it" Saitou murmured, kissing her back, as they both sought solace within each other.


End file.
